American Cancer Society Speech

I never thought I would be up in front of people to talk about my cancer, but if I can reach out to one person and help one person, I will feel like I have accomplished a lot. When I was a young girl in 1956, my mom was in the hospital in Atlanta for almost a month….next door to her room was a man with tubes running through his body and each day there seemed to be more. One day I asked the nurse, “What’s wrong with that man” The nun responded “He has cancer.” I looked at her with childlike belief and in a voice of conviction I said, “I am never dying of cancer” I remember that day like it was yesterday that image of someone losing out to cancer. In those days, the treatment was almost barbaric. When people hear the word cancer they often see death. The reality of cancer is that it’s not pretty. Not everybody survives. My 78 year old Aunt did not survive. About a month ago, I got an email that my aunt wasn’t looking too good so my family took her to the doctor. She was immediately admitted into hospice for her ovarian cancer. 4 days later I got another email that she had died. To think she was walking around with cancer and did not even know that it was growing inside her. The same thing happened to me. I shouldn’t be here but I am. Had I not bumped my head and needed an MRI, and the attendant did not read the order correctly, I would not have discovered that I had 4th stage ovarian cancer and lymphoma. When I found out, I was ready to accept death because I knew that not everybody survives. I knew that I had worked hard to be the best I could be and I was very willing to go if it was my time. When I prayed, it was never that I lived but I prayed for God’s will to be done. For months I was very sick…I remember when I had cancer that I did not have the energy to do anything. I could barely make it to the bathroom and making a pot of water was the hardest thing I had ever encountered. Cancer taught me that I have to take care of me. I needed to quit doing the things that were not good for my health and start doing the things that made me feel better about myself. I spent my life too busy helping others to take care of myself. I am always trying to do better and to make better choices…we all have the power of choice and as much as we have the choice to make the decision…many continue their bad habits like a badge of courage. I tried my very best to learn to LOVE the cancer not see it as my enemy but a part of me that I needed to make peace with if I had any hopes of surviving. Each day I would get up and write until the flow stopped and those pages breathed life into me as I was quickly dying. I would ask the question…what do I do today..and what would flow would be anything from eat collards to forgive your mother for the time she beat you. I healed a lot of past pain. I forgave people who hurt me and I asked God to forgive me for anything I had mistakenly created. Forgiveness is important. After all that was done, I was pretty much left with only LOVE in my heart and with that LOVE in my heart somehow CANCER lost it’s grip on me and I survived. I always say to my friends it is not really necessary to go over and over a sad story and today I am going to leave you this. Create each day as you want it. If you get cancer or if you are helping someone through cancer…remember each moment we have an opportunity to let our hearts overflow with LOVE. Try your best to live in a state of gratitude for everything ... most importantly the lessons that almost get us…because the truth is that we are never given more than we can handle. I would like to close with this words…..People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross